Letting It Go…

In some mysterious way, I got sick. I have been supersupercareful here with the food and I have either cooked at home or I have eaten in places, where yogis eat. I mean I have had only one cup of chai and the rice offered my neighbour outside those before-mentioned places and I got sick. I have drank only bottled water and even brushed my teeth with it, but I couldn’t avoid getting sick. Yesterday I laid on the bed whole day, napping, sleeping and reading. I got a little bit fever too, so all my sore muscles hurted and I was quite shaky.

Today I feel much better, but still I couldn’t practice. Three days off is going to feel like eternity. Hah, sounds familiar? Yes, I know that the next practice will be shaky and stiff, but I have to listen to my body and follow the principle of ahimsa (non-violance). I think that this whole ashtanga system is so brilliant, because we don’t start with yama (moral codes), but asana. Asana will teach us among other things about ahimsa. If I am not going to have day off now, I will be violent against myself. So even when I don’t do my physical practice today, I am actually practicing. First I have to learn to be non-violent against myself and later I might learn not to be violent against other people (this includes nasty thoughts). But it’s so difficult to be without asana practice…

I continued reading Guruji book and John Scott (p. 356) talks in it about the people, who are attracted by ashtanga yoga. He says: ”It [ashtanga yoga] definitely attracts people who have a very obsessive nature or an addictive nature. I think that the practice can be very addictive, which is clever.”…”Now when you start working with the addiction of yoga, the not doing yoga is a yoga in itself.”… ”…, the system is always testing you. So I think that these are some of the reasons why Pattabhi Jois puts in the full and dark moon to give us the opportunity to not practice. So the people with obsessive natures are also challenged within the practice to let go of the practice.”

So today’s plan is to rest, drink water, eat properly, take good care of myself and build up my energy for Sunday’s asana practice. You can see that it’s still too challenging for me live only in this moment and not think about Sunday already… Maybe, one day, I will learn.