I went to speak with Sharath. I asked about Setu Bandha and my practice. He showed me, which part of the head should be on the ground and it’s pretty close to the forehead. That pose is a killer for me, I don’t understand the pose and that’s why, it’s so hard for me. I do better with the poses, which I can do inside my head, too. Image counts for me.
He said that I should relax into the poses. He also said, that I am sometimes holding my breath (I am aware of this, but it’s just so difficult for me to breath freely). Maybe there is some strange control freak inside of me. Free breathing was his advice.
And then he said that I should start back bendings next week (this means drop-backs). I am dying. He said that only with him, but I am still dying. This is not just some little fear, this is crazy fear of dying or injuring myself terribly. I said that my back is better (which is true), but now my hip is hurting. He asked, if it’s muscle pain or something else. I said that I think that it’s muscle pain. But I still don’t know about those drop-backs. I can’t do chakrasana and muscles around right hip are cramping after practice. I should massage the hip with oils, but I am not sure, if there is still something else than just muscle pain.
Sometimes I just think, how crazy I am to be here. And how crazy this practice is.